February 5, 2009

Just the other day I was telling my good friend Nancy that I feel like I'm losing it. And when I say "losing it", I mean, coming unglued a little. I feel like my head is so cloudy sometimes, and I can't remember simple things. For example, the other day when Curt and I were going to my doctor appointment, I could not remember which way I needed to turn when leaving. This was a road that we've traveled NUMEROUS times out by the mall, and I could not remember where I was directionally. And, another time, I was pulling into the gas station, and couldn't remember which side of the car my gas tank was on. Now, we all have these momentary lapses in memory, but recover quickly. I really, truly, had no idea which side it was on. I had to stop my car to look. Not to mention the way that I have been ridiculously stressed about silly things...the boys sleeping in their beds, flipping back and forth about plastic vs glass bottles... So dumb. I feel like a mental case, like I'm so not ME in my own skin. And as I vented to Nancy, I just figured it was from all the stress and all we have going on right now.

Then...I sat and thought about it. Yesteray, I was on the way to my client's home at about 3:30 pm. Mid afternoon. I felt fine all day, but once I was in my car, in a warm, quiet place, I got drowsy. More than drowsy, I got down-right sleepy. So sleepy in fact, that I felt my eyes closing and I was powerless to keep them open. This happened twice, and scared the bejeebers out of me. I tried drinking my soda to keep me awake, but it wasn't helping, so I called Curt and talked to him until I go there, and that DID help. It was AS my head bobbed down, WHILE in the middle of downtown Appleton that it hit me. All this cloudiness....All this ridiculous indecisiveness and manic behavior boils down to two simple words. SLEEP DEPRIVATION. Three words if you wish...CHRONIC sleep deprivation.

It's sneaks up on us now. I mean, in the beginning when I got 1 hour stretches of sleep, there was no sneaking up on us. Sleep deprivation was WHAM right in my face. But now, we get to sleep like 10/10:30pm-5ish am...WITH some night soothing inbetween, but still. I'd say we average 5.5-6 hours of sleep per night. THAT is a gold mine compared to where we WERE at, so I didn't think about it. But holy HELL...it CLEARLY is sleep deprivation.

I googled it, and here's what I found:
***"the most common and easily identifiable sleep deprivation symptoms is that of drowsiness or daytime fatigue" CHECK
***"a reduction in memory and mental performance." CHECK. Hello cloudy brain, meet sleep deprivation.
***"If we go without sleep for long enough then it can become serious to the point where tasks can be dangerous. Studies on sleep have shown that driving while suffering from a lack of sleep is similar to driving while under the influence. " ABSOLUTELY
***"People who are suffering from a lack of sleep can often develop forms of anxiety and other adverse mental states." CHECK- hello Evan swinging.
***"lowers your ability to deal with stress." CHECK
***"negative outlook" -DEFINATELY when thinking about how to get the boys in their beds
***"increased illness. Sleep helps recharge the immune system. When we don't get enough sleep our immune system loses effectiveness and has a harder time fighting off illness." Not YET.

We have a winner....ding ding ding. Wonder when it'll let up???? Wonder when these boysies will sleep like kings. Hheheehehe.

Alrighty, speaking of sleep deprivation, I think I'll head to bed. I'm exhausted as usual ;)