June 29, 2007

I have been increasingly more down about trying to conceive #2. It just seems to be taking forever and it makes me very sad.Three failed rounds of Clomid. Three "natural" cycles. Nothing. Big fat fucking nothing.As the time ticks by, all I can think about is how the space between my kids is growing larger and larger. I really really wanted my kids to be about 2-3 years apart. Now, who friggin knows how far they'll be apart Maybe this sounds silly to some of you, but for me it's always been something that's important to me and not being able to plan this part of my life is so so so difficult for me.I keep worrying...what if I don't EVER get pregnant. What if the new meds don't work? What if I have to do IVF...eeeeek. I know...all of the worry seems extremely silly....but when you don't KNOW what is up...you can't help but wonder....and think....and overanalyze...and worry........I HATE not knowing...when.....or even if...................