August 1, 2008

Tonight I went back and reread some of the posts I did when we were trying to conceive. I can hear the anger, desperation, and sheer hopelessness I was feeling at that time. And really, until we decided to do IVF, I didn't blog alot AT all about any of it. A little, yes, but gosh, so many feelings and so much saddness. Then I got to the parts about the IVF process and reading through THAT again was pretty amazing. To think that we did ALL of that...wow. I mean, it really is NOT that far away, and when we were in the throws of it, we trudged along and just did it, because it was what we HAD to do, but wow. What an amazing journey. These babies are SO wanted...SO longed for...SO loved already.

And I realized, I really never posted this picture.


Those are all of the meds that we were ORIGNALLY shipped. Now, remember, we had to purchase more Bravelle and Menopur TWICE. There are thousands of dollars right there. And...so many shots/needles! Not to forget the Estrogen patches that did THIS to my skin:


And 11 weeks or so of these ginormous shots into my hiney with thick sludge inside


Oh what an amazing journey. Truly. I look back and am in aww a little. I regret NONE of it. It STILL feels personal to me, and is not something that I share with just anyone. Everyone has their own judgements on IVF, and really, to me, it's no one's business how we got pregnant in the first place...sort of like asking someone what position they had sex in when they conceived...just not their business. Yet, as close to my heart and soul as we keep this process, I am proud to have walked such an amazing journey and come out with such beautiful gifts growing inside of me.

Amazing. Simply amazing.